The Right Pour | No. 1
What Your Grape Says About You
A lighthearted field guide from someone still figuring it out
By ofahelotu
I should start with a disclaimer. This is the first of a series called The Right Pour and I want to kick things off lightly. Very lightly. Over the years of experimenting and learning about wine, I have come across different personalities of people who choose a certain grape varietal. What follows are just observations. I may be wrong. I may be presumptuous. I am almost certainly making judgements. But it is all in fun, a bit of fun on the way to figuring out this wild wine world.
The Chardonnay Drinker
Casual. Assertive about their choice. A little experienced in the wine world. Something easy to consume without pretence, though the opposite is true of their cousin, the Chablis drinker. Very pretentious. And often the Chablis drinker is not aware that they are, in fact, drinking Chardonnay themselves. They see the markup because of the region and sometimes they don’t even know Chablis is a region.
“Something easy to consume without pretence, though the opposite is true of their cousin, the Chablis drinker.”
The Pinot Noir Drinker
Very nonchalant sophistication. Also an easy win if you want to feel like you know what you are talking about at the dinner table. Most Pinot Noirs are palatable and easy to find a good one, but when you find a gem, you are the wine expert for the evening. It is also just an easy, pleasing wine for the whole table to enjoy.
“When you find a gem, you are the wine expert for the evening.”
The Pinot Gris Drinker
I am not much of a Pinot Gris drinker myself, but I know that when someone selects it, there is a clear intention to consume copious amounts of it. In my experience, especially for women in their late twenties through to forties, it is an easy select. Something to sit on instead of having a thousand porn-star martini or a spicy margarita.
“There is a clear intention to consume copious amounts of it.”
The Shiraz Drinker
I have not seen many Shiraz drinkers lately, but there is always a great Shiraz on the table at a rugby lunch. It is an easy shift from beer, twisted, with berry notes, a sweet finish, heavier. But it often does the job, as they say. It is the safe option for most people and is so easy to sit on and continue to order throughout the evening.
“There is always a great Shiraz on the table at a rugby lunch.”
The Cab Sav or Cab-Merlot Drinker
This person is serious about having a wine experience this evening. There is no mucking around. They go straight to the list, wanting to dive into the forest floor, the oak, dry, medium bodied, no nonsense, straight to the point. The message is clear: I am drinking wine tonight.
“No nonsense, straight to the point. I am drinking wine tonight.”
The Sauvignon Blanc Drinker
Floral bouquet. I mostly see women choose this option, and for some reason it always accompanies a boozy afternoon at a waterside restaurant. I would not call it an acquired taste, but these women seem to see past that signature acidic kick of a Sav Blanc to enjoy the afternoon with.
“For some reason it always accompanies a boozy afternoon at a waterside restaurant.”
The Riesling Drinker
This person is undecided on what sort of evening they want. Is it a culinary experience or an easy conversational glass? Not often do I see Riesling drinkers enjoy a bottle on their own, but it is always fantastic with cuisines that have an array of flavour profiles, whether from a single dish or across a whole meal. A Riesling tends to cleanse the palate for each bite, allowing for free-flowing conversation around the food. An accompaniment that levels the flow of the evening.
“An accompaniment that levels the flow of the evening.”
The Barolo or Barbaresco Drinker
These guys are serious. I have not really hung around many of these types of drinkers, and that is probably why, isn’t it. There is an intimidation factor around the devotion to this grape varietal. The good ones are also well above my pay packet, which is quite intimidating in itself. One day we might be able to hang out. Unfortunately, that day is not in my near future.
“That is probably why I do not hang around them, isn’t it.”
The Champagne Drinker
With Champagne comes a lot of toasts, a lot of cheers. The bubbly concoction makes people bright. There is an openness to the Champagne drinker, always welcoming of new conversations, meeting new people, celebrating wins, and finding the positive in losses. Always pleasant to be amongst two to four Champagne drinkers. Unfortunately, nothing has quite hit for me personally. I am usually done after the first glass.
“Always welcoming of new conversations, celebrating wins, and finding the positive in losses.”
The Prosecco, Cava & Sparkling Wine Drinker
With each glass poured, this person becomes the salesperson for Prosecco, Cava, and sparkling wine. There are a lot of comparisons, price, experience, always measured against their bubbly competition: Champagne. These drinkers probably mention Champagne more than they mention the drink in their own glass.
“These drinkers probably mention Champagne more than they mention the drink in their own glass.”
These are just lighthearted observations. There is some truth to it, I cannot lie. But it is all in the fun and games of discovering more about this wild wine world. More to come in The Right Pour.
Which one are you?
The Right Pour is a series on Premier Ligne written by ofahelotu, the wine-curious one.